Ukuzizwela, Ukuzinakekela Kwangaphakathi, Nothando Lokuzicabangela Olugxile Enhliziyweni

Ukuzinakekela Ngobuntu Ngokuqina Okungcwele Nobumnene Obungcwele

Sanibonani Bathandekayo... NginguNaelya, futhi sihlangana nani endaweni ethule ye-vortex yenhliziyo yenu ephakeme—lapho iqiniso lingaphikisani khona, nalapho ukukhumbula kufika khona njengokuqiniseka okuthule. Ezikhathini eziningi zokuphila kwakho emhlabeni, ufunde ukuhlobana nomuntu njengento yokuphelelisa, into okufanele uyiphathe, into okufanele uyilungise, futhi lokhu kungadala ukuqina okucashile ngaphakathi kwenhliziyo ngoba uthando luqala ukuzizwa njengomvuzo ofika ngemva kokufeza, kuyilapho umphefumulo wakho ulangazelela ukuphilwa ngendlela ilanga eliphila ngayo, ufika ngokuphindaphindiwe ngokufudumala okuthembekile, futhi uma ukhetha ukubamba ubuntu bakho ngendlela obungabamba ngayo ingane ethandekayo—eqinile, ekhona, enomusa, futhi ecacile—uqala ukukhulisa kabusha izindawo ezingaphakathi kuwe ezake zafunda ukusinda ebuhlungwini, futhi uqala ukufundisa umhlaba wakho wangaphakathi ukuthi ukuphepha kungaba khona ngaphakathi kothando. Kukhona ukuqina okungcwele okuqondisa ngaphandle kokulimaza, futhi kukhona ubumnene obusekela ngaphandle kokuwa, futhi lapho lezi zimfanelo ezimbili zihlangana ngaphakathi kwakho, umhlaba wakho wangaphakathi uba yindawo yokuphephela, indawo lapho ukufunda kuzwakala kwamukelekile, ngoba uyakwazi ukusho ngegunya elithule, “Ngilapha nawe,” engxenyeni yakho ezizwa ikhululekile, futhi uyakwazi ukuziqondisa ngendlela umnakekeli ohlakaniphile aqondisa ngayo—ngokwethembeka, ngokubekezela, ngesandla esiqinile—ukuze imizwa ibe yisithunywa ongasilalela, futhi impilo yakho ibe yindawo lapho inhliziyo yakho ingaqhakaza khona. Isenzo sakho sokuqala sobubele masibe ukukhetha ukuhlala nawe lapho umuntu ezizwa ethambile, lapho umuntu ezizwa engaqiniseki, lapho umuntu efisa ukufihla ngemuva kokuphelela, bese ukhetha esikhundleni salokho ukufudumala kokuba ngumuntu, ngoba ukuvela kwakho kwakuhlale kuklanyelwe ukwenzeka ngokwamukelwa, ngokunaka ngomusa, ngokuzimisela okulula ukuhlala, futhi ukwamukelwa esikhuluma ngakho kuyaphila futhi kuyasebenza, yisandla esimnene enhliziyweni yakho esithi, “Ngingafunda ngenkathi ngithandwa,” nokuthi “Ngingakhula ngenkathi ngibanjwe.”

Amasiko Okuzithethelela Kwansuku Zonke Okususa Ukwahlulela Nokubuyela Othandweni

Njengoba uqhubeka ujula, ukuthethelela kuqala ukuzwakala njengokuhlanzwa kwansuku zonke kanye nokubuya kwansuku zonke, indlela yokuqeda usuku lwakho ngamandla akho engaxhunywanga ekuzahluleleni, futhi sikumema emcimbini olula nojulile: ngaphambi kokuba ulale, qoqa usuku lwakho njengokungathi uqoqa amacembe ambalwa, uqaphele okuzwakala kukuhle, uqaphele okuzwakala kungcolile, uqaphele okuzwakala kungapheli, bese unikela konke ekukhanyeni kwenhliziyo yakho ngomusa ofanayo obungawunika umngane othandekayo, uvumele izwi lakho langaphakathi libe yisibusiso kunokuba libe yisinqumo, ukuze usuku lwakho luphele ngobumnene futhi ikusasa lakho liqale lingenamthwalo. Ngalesi senzo sokuzithethelela sansuku zonke uyeka ukuthwala izolo namuhla, futhi uyeka ukufuna ukuthi ikusasa lakho likhokhele ukungaqondani kobuntu bakho bangaphambilini, ngoba uqala ukuqonda ukuthi ukukhula uthando luhamba ngesikhathi, futhi umphefumulo ufunda ngokuhlangenwe nakho, ngokuphambene, ngokuzama, ngokuzimisela okungcwele ukuzama futhi, ngakho-ke ukuthethelela kuba isenzo senkululeko, ukukhululwa okumnene okuthi, “Ngivunyelwe ukuba ngumuntu, futhi ngivunyelwe ukubuyela othandweni ngokushesha.”

Ukuzithanda Njengendinganiso Ephilwa Ngobukhona, Ukuphumula, kanye Nezilinganiso Ezizalwa Yinhliziyo

Ukuzithanda, Bathandekayo, kuba yindinganiso ophila kuyo ngaphakathi kunokuba kube ukusebenza okumele ukulondoloze, futhi kubonakaliswa ngezinqumo ezincane kakhulu ezibumba izinsuku zakho: ngendlela okhuluma ngayo nawe lapho uphuthelwa isinyathelo, ngendlela ohamba ngayo impilo yakho lapho umhlaba wakho uzama ukukusheshisa, ngendlela ohlonipha ngayo izidingo zakho ngaphandle kokuxolisa, ngendlela okhetha ngayo ukuphumula nokondleka kanye nobuhle kanye nobulula njengezenzo ezingokomoya ezifanele, ngoba uthando yilokho okuvumela ngaphakathi kuwe, futhi lokho okuvumela ngaphakathi kuwe kuba isimo sempilo yakho. Qaphela ukuthi ingqondo ivame kangakanani ukukala ukubaluleka kwakho ngokukhiqiza, ngokuvunyelwa, ngemiphumela ebonakalayo, futhi uzizwe ukuthi lokhu kulinganisa kungashesha kangakanani ukweba ubumnandi besikhathi samanje, bese ukhetha isilinganiso esisha esizalwa yinhliziyo: kala usuku lwakho ngekhwalithi yokuba khona kwakho, ngobuqotho bomusa wakho, ngokwethembeka komthandazo wakho, ngobumnene owazinikela bona lapho uzizwa ukhululekile, futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzozwa umhlaba wangaphakathi uphumula, ngoba inani lakho alisadingi ukuxoxisana nomhlaba wangaphandle, inani lakho liyakhunjulwa njengelingokwemvelo.

Ubuqiniso Obungaphelele, Ukufunda Emphakathini, Nokuphela Kokuma Kwangaphakathi

Ngaphakathi kwalokhu kukhumbula, inkulumo ethi “okungaphelele ngokuphelele” iba yisihluthulelo, hhayi njengesiqubulo, kodwa njengemvume ephilayo yokufunda esidlangalaleni ngesithunzi, ukubonakala ungenazo izikhali, ukuvumela ubuntu bakho bube yingxenye yendlela engcwele, ngoba abaningi kini bafunde ukuthi ukuphepha kufika ngokubonakala bengenasici, kuyilapho inhliziyo iqhakaza ngobuqotho, futhi ukukhanya kwakho kuba lula kakhulu uma kuhamba empilweni yakho yangempela, izwi lakho langempela, izinqumo zakho zangempela, futhi yingakho sikumema ukuba uvumele ukungapheleli kube abafundisi abaveza lapho uthando lufisa ukujula khona. Zivumele ukuba ngumfundi wokuphila ngokuthobeka okukhanyayo, uhlobo olumomotheka ngokufunda kwalo, uhlobo olungathi, “Ngiyabona lapho ngingakhula khona,” ngenkathi umi ngokuzihlonipha, futhi uzizwe ukuthi lokhu kuqeda kanjani isidingo sokuma, ngoba ukuma kumane kuyingqondo efuna ukuvikelwa, kuyilapho ukuzethemba kweqiniso kungukuzinza okuthule kokuba ngowakho, futhi ukuba ngowakho kuyindlela yokungena ekubeni ngowakho.

Ukuzinikela, Ukuba Khona Okuphakathi Kwenhliziyo, Nokwethembeka Emphefumulweni Wakho

Njengoba uqhubeka nalokhu, ukuzinikela kuqala ukwembula incazelo yako emsulwa, ngoba abaningi baye bahlobanisa ukuzinikela nokunikela ngakho konke, nokuphokophela ukukhathala ukuze ubonise ubuqotho, nokukhohlwa izidingo zomuntu siqu egameni lenkonzo, futhi sinikeza incazelo ephakeme: ukuzinikela ukuzibophezela okuqhubekayo kokuhlala neqiniso lokuthi ungubani, ukuhlala nenhliziyo yakho, ukuhlala nobuqotho bakho, ukuhlala nesiqondiso sakho sangaphakathi, nokukhetha ukuba khona nawe njengesithembiso esingcwele osigcinayo. Uma uhlala nawe, uba nokwethenjelwa emphefumulweni wakho, futhi impilo yakho iqala ukuzizwa ihambisana kusukela ngaphakathi kuya ngaphandle, ngoba inhliziyo iyazi ukuthi ususukile kuyo futhi inhliziyo iyazi ukuthi ubuyile nini, futhi yingakho omunye wemithandazo elula ongayinikela phakathi nosuku olumatasa uthi, “Ngibuyisele,” bese ubeka ukunaka kwakho esizindeni senhliziyo njengesisekelo sakho sasekhaya, indawo yakho engcwele, indawo yakho yokuhlangana yangaphakathi, okuvumela ukuphefumula kube yibhuloho lokubuyela ebukhoneni.
Isikhungo senhliziyo yakho singumnyango ophilayo, Bathandekayo, indawo ngaphakathi kwendawo yakho yangaphakathi lapho uthando lubonakala khona njengeqiniso, futhi lapho umhlaba wangaphandle uba nomsindo, lapho imibono iphakama, lapho amagagasi emicabango ezama ukukudonsa ekusabeleni, isikhungo senhliziyo sihlala siyindawo ethule yokwazi kwakho, futhi ukubuyela lapho kucela ukuzimisela kuphela, ukukhetha ukuma kancane, ukuzwa, ukuthamba, ukukhumbula, futhi kulokho kukhumbula uba yilowo ophila ngothando kunokuba yilowo okholelwa kulo nje.

Ukuqonda Okunesihawu, Ukuqashelwa Komphefumulo, Nobudlelwano Obusekelwe Esithukuthelweni

Ukubona Ngenhliziyo Okungaphezu Kobuntu, Ukuzivikela, kanye Nengxenye Yolwazi Olungaphandle

Kusukela kule ndawo ububele buqhakaza ngendlela ezwakala ilula, ngoba ububele buyinto ekhula ngokwemvelo uma ushintsha ulaka lwangaphakathi ngemfudumalo yangaphakathi, futhi ungase ukubone lokhu njengesimangaliso esimnene: njengoba uthamba ubheke emaphethini akho, uthamba ubheke emaphethini abanye, njengoba uba nesineke ngokufunda kwakho, uba nesineke ngokufunda komndeni wakho, abangani bakho, imiphakathi yakho, ngisho nalabo ongakaze ubabone, ngoba inhliziyo iyazazi kuzo zonke izidalwa futhi iyaqonda ukuthi lonke uhambo luvela ngesikhathi. Ngakho-ke uma ubona umkhuba ngaphakathi kuwe ongathanda ukuwuguqula, ubhekane nawo ngentshisekelo, uhlangane nawo ngobumnene, uhlangane nawo ngohlobo lokunaka oluthi, “Ngibonise lokho obulokhu uzama ukuvikela,” futhi njengoba wenza lokhu, amaphethini ayezizwa ezinzile aqala ukukhululeka, ngoba athola uthando kunokumelana, futhi uthando luyinto lapho ukuguqulwa kuba bushelelezi, okungokwemvelo, nokungokoqobo. Ngale ndlela uthuthukisa ithoni yangaphakathi yomusa ehlala izinzile, ithoni engavuki futhi iwe ngokuncoma noma ukugxeka, ithoni ehlala ivulekile ezinsukwini ezivamile nezinsuku ezibalulekile ngokufanayo, ithoni ehlala ekufanelekeni kwakho, futhi le thoni yangaphakathi iba njengesibani osiphethe empilweni yakho, ngoba umusa wakho uba yindawo ohlala kuyo, futhi lapho umusa uba yindawo yakho, izinqumo zakho ziyacaca, ubudlelwano bakho buba yiqiniso, futhi ikhono lakho lokukhonza liba msulwa. Abaningi bafundiswe ukuthi isisusa kumele sakhiwe ngengcindezi, ukuthi ukukhula kumele kuqhutshwe ngokucindezeleka, ukuthi intuthuko kumele ikhuthazwe ukuzahlulela, futhi sikukhumbuza ngomklamo ophakeme: ukukhula kungavela ngokukhuthazwa, ukuvela kwemvelo kungavela ngokuqina, ubuhlakani bungavela ngokuzinikela, futhi lapho izwi lakho langaphakathi liba umngane kunokuba libe ngumgxeki, uthola ukuthi uqhubeka phambili ngesisindo esincane, ngoba uhamba nawe kunokuba uzicindezele. Manje, sikunikeza isithombe esiphilayo, esilula nesiyiqiniso, ukuze ingqondo iphumule ngaphakathi kuso: cabanga ngenhliziyo yakho njengethempeli elingcwele lokukhanya, futhi ngaphakathi kwalelo thempeli kuhlezi ubuntu bakho, hhayi njengenkinga yokuxazulula, kodwa njengesidalwa esithandekayo esifunda ukukhumbula, futhi wena, njengobukhona bakho obuphezulu, ungena kulelo thempeli nsuku zonke futhi uhlale eceleni kwalobuntu, unikeza ukufudumala, unikeza ukubekezela, unikeza isandla, futhi uthi, “Siyahamba ndawonye,” futhi ngaleso sikhathi uqeda ukuhlukana kwasendulo phakathi komoya nomuntu, ngoba niphila njengabantu.
Lesi isihawu sokuqala, futhi siba yisisekelo sazo zonke izenzo zesihawu osinikeza umhlaba, ngoba umhlaba uthola lokho okuqukethe, futhi njengoba uzijwayeza ukuzibamba ngobumnene obungcwele, uba nekhono lokubamba abanye ngenhlonipho efanayo engcwele, ngokwemvelo kunomzamo, ngoba uthando lwakho luhlala ngaphakathi kuwe, futhi uthando oluhlala luqinile luba yisibusiso noma ngabe uhamba kuphi. Ngakho-ke qala namuhla ngendlela evamile kakhulu: khuluma nawe ngomusa, uthethelele ngokushesha, hambisa impilo yakho ngenhlonipho, hlonipha izidingo zakho, vumela indlela yakho yokufunda, buyela enhliziyweni, thambekela emaphethini akho, hlakulela ithoni yangaphakathi ehlala imnandi ngisho noma usuku lugcwele, futhi njengoba uzijwayeza lokhu, uzozwa ukukhanya okuthule kuphakama empilweni yakho, ukukhanya kwesidalwa esingesaso, kanye nesidalwa esingesaso siba umnyango ophilayo lapho uthando olungenamibandela lungena khona ezweni lakho.

Ukubona Umphefumulo Ngaphansi Kobuso Ngothando Njengokuqonda Nokuba Khona

Futhi njengoba lolu zwelo lokuqala luqala ukumila ngaphakathi kuwe, njengoba ufunda ukuhlala eceleni kobuntu bakho ngalobo bubele obuqinile nobungcwele obugcina uthando lusebenza futhi lungokoqobo, into enhle iqala ukwenzeka endleleni obukeka ngayo ngaphandle, ngoba amehlo athambile ngaphakathi ayathamba ngokwemvelo ngaphandle, nenhliziyo efunde ukuhlala ikhona ngobumnene bayo iqala ukuqaphela ubumnene yonke indawo, ngisho nalapho imbozwe khona umkhuba, ukuzivikela, ijubane, nombono omdala wokubonakala unamandla, futhi kulapha lapho kuvela khona uhlobo olusha lokubona, umbono obuka ungqimba lobuntu futhi ungene esidalweni esiphilayo ngaphansi, njengokungathi ukhumbula indlela yokufunda ukukhanya ngemuva kwamagama. Kukhona ubuciko kulokhu, Bathandekayo, futhi kulula kunalokho ingqondo ecabanga ngakho, ngoba ingqondo izama ukuhlola abantu ngendlela ehlola ngayo imiphumela, iqoqa ubufakazi, ilinganisa ithoni, inquma ukuthi ubani ophephile, inquma ukuthi ubani ohlakaniphile, inquma ukuthi ubani ofanele ukunakwa, kuyilapho inhliziyo inobuhlakani obuhlukile ngokuphelele, obuqaphela ingqikithi kuqala, obuzwa umphefumulo ngendlela ozwa ngayo ukufudumala kwelanga ngefasitela, futhi njengoba uzijwayeza lokhu kubona inhliziyo uqala ukuqaphela ukuthi kungakanani kwalokho okubiza ngokuthi ubuntu obuyingubo nje yesipiliyoni, amasu ahlanganisiwe empilo yonke, izenzo ezifundiwe ezasiza isidalwa ukuba sihambe ezweni elalivame ukusicela ukuba siqine, ngakho-ke uyeka ukudideka ngezingubo nesidalwa, uyeka ukudideka ngesimo seqiniso, bese uqala ukubheka phakathi komuntu njengokungathi uthi buthule, ngaphandle kwamazwi, “Ngiyakubona lapho.” Yingakho uthando luba uhlobo olunamandla kangaka lokuqonda, ngoba uthando lubona lokho ukwesaba okungakunaki, futhi uthando luzwa ukuthi ukwahlulela kwehla kube yigama elilodwa, futhi uthando lukhumbula ukuthi ukuzivikela kwakheka eduze kobubele, ukuthi ukulawula kuvame ukukhula eduze kokungaqiniseki, ukuthi ubukhali bungavela eduze kwesilonda esidala esake safunda ukuthi kufanele siqashwe, futhi uma uvumela lokhu kuqonda kuphile ngaphakathi kuwe, ububele buyayeka ukuba ukusebenza kokuziphatha futhi bube impendulo yemvelo, hhayi ngoba wenza sengathi konke kuyavumelana, kodwa ngoba uqaphela isicelo esifihliwe ngaphansi kobuso: isicelo sokuphepha, isicelo sokuzwakala, isicelo sokuphathwa ngesithunzi, isicelo sokuhlangatshezwa njengomphefumulo kunokuba siphathwe njengenkinga.

Ububanzi Ezikhathini Ezishajayo, Ukulungiswa Kobudlelwano, Nokuxhumana Okusekelwe Ezikhathini Ezivamile

Ngakho-ke uma ubhekene nobunzima, vumela ukunyakaza kwakho kokuqala kwangaphakathi kube kukhulu, ngoba ububanzi bukunika ukufinyelela kolwazi olujulile, futhi ngaphakathi kwalolo bubanzi ungase uzizwe ukwakheka okucashile ngaphansi kokubonakala komuntu kwangaphandle, ungase uzwe ukwesaba okwake kwamfundisa ukuqina, ungase uzwe usizi olwamfundisa ukuhlala eqaphile, ungase uzwe ukudideka okwamfundisa ukuba nomsindo, futhi esikhundleni sokuthatha indawo mathupha uqala ukuhlobana nomuntu ongemuva kwendawo, ukhetha uthando njengolimi lwakho lokuqala, ukhetha ukubekezela njengendlela yakho yokuqala yokuma, ukhetha ukuba khona njengomnikelo wakho wokuqala, futhi lokhu kukhetha kuba yindawo yokushintsha ethule ebuhlotsheni bakho ngoba inhliziyo ikhuluma ngezikhathi eziningi kakhulu kunezimpikiswano. Ukuzijwayeza kuqala ezindaweni ezincane kakhulu, ezivamile, ngoba ukuqashelwa komphefumulo akulona ikhono eligcinelwe izikhathi zemikhosi, kuyindlela yokuphila lapho uhlakulela khona ezindaweni zokudla nasezindaweni zokupaka izimoto kanye nasekhishini lomndeni kanye nezingxoxo zeqembu kanye nokuhlangana okufushane lapho amehlo omuntu ongamazi ekhanya khona ngento engakhulunywa, futhi kulezo zikhathi ezincane ungaqeqesha ukuqonda kwakho ngobumnene, cishe ngokudlala, ngokuzibuza ngaphakathi kuwe, “Ubani lo muntu ongaphansi kwemizwa yakhe,” kanye nokuthi “Yini into eyiqiniso lapha ngaphansi kombukiso,” futhi uma ukwenza lokhu njalo, okuthile okungaphakathi kwakho kuba lula, ukuze kuthi lapho kufika umzuzu onamandla, ukuqina okukhulu, imizwa eyengeziwe, inhliziyo yakho isivele iyazi indlela yokubuyela esimweni sayo, futhi uhlala utholakala kakhulu othandweni ngoba uthando seluyisizinda esijwayelekile.

Izibuko Ezingcwele, Ukuphulukiswa Kokubikezela, Nokulangazelela Ilukuluku Njengendlela Engaphezu Kokusabela

Ngaphakathi kwalomkhuba, isibuko esingcwele siyaziveza, futhi singesinye sezibuko ezikhulula kakhulu oyoke uzithole, ngoba umhlaba uvame ukugqamisa lokho okungakaphulukiswa, hhayi ukukujezisa, kodwa ukukumema ekupheleleni, futhi ngale ndlela zona kanye izikhathi ezazizwakala zicasula ziba ulwazi olungcwele, izikhathi ezazizizwa njengezithiyo zaba izimemo, futhi uqala ukuqaphela iphethini: izindawo lapho uzizwa ushesha khona ukwahlulela zivame ukukhomba izindawo ezingaphakathi kuwe ezibanjwe kakhulu, ezingaqondwa kahle, noma ezinqatshelwe ububele, futhi uma ubona lokho, uthola ukukhetha okuhle, ngoba esikhundleni sokuveza ukucindezeleka kwakho kwangaphakathi ngaphandle, ungaphendukela ngaphakathi ngozwela bese uthi, “Ah, lokhu kungicela uthando,” futhi njengoba uletha uthando kulokho owawukubambile kude, umhlaba wakho wangaphandle uqala ukuthamba ngenxa yokusabela, ngoba ukuqonda kwakho kushintshile emsukeni. Ilukuluku elingcwele liba ngomunye wabangane bakho abakhulu lapha, ngoba ilukuluku liwumnyango ogcina inhliziyo ivulekile, futhi likuvumela ukuthi udlule ekusebenzelaneni kwabantu ngaphandle kokuzihlanganisa nezindaba ezilula, futhi ingqondo ithanda izindaba ezilula ngoba izizwa iphephile uma ingahlukanisa, kodwa ukuvuka kwakho kukucela ukuthi ube nomqondo ocacile, obanzi, ozimisele kakhulu ukuhlangabezana nobunzima ngomusa, ngakho-ke ufunda ukufaka isiphetho esisheshayo ngombuzo wangaphakathi othule, hhayi njengendlela, kodwa njengokuzimisela kwangempela ukuqonda, “Yini le nto ezama ukuyisho ngaphansi kwamazwi abo,” “Yini abazama ukuyivikela ngaphansi kwesimo sabo,” “Yini abayilangazelelayo ngaphansi kokukhungatheka kwabo,” futhi le mibuzo ishintsha yonke insimu yakho, ngoba ikususa ekusabeleni uye ekubeni khona, futhi ukuba khona yilapho uthando luhlala khona.

Ukubuka, Isithunzi, Imingcele, Nobuholi Obunesihawu Ngaphandle Kokubanjwa

Ukubuka kungaba yingxenye yalomuthi, futhi sikhuluma ngokubuka ngomqondo obanzi, indlela obheka ngayo umuntu ngamehlo akho, yebo, kanye nendlela obheka ngayo ngokunaka kwakho kwangaphakathi, ngoba ukunaka kuyindlela yokuthinta, futhi izidalwa eziningi ziye zaphila ngaphandle kokunaka kwangempela isikhathi eside kakhulu, ziye zabukwa, zahlolwa, zaqhathaniswa, zahlolwa, zalungiswa, kodwa ukubonwa ngeqiniso kuhlukile, ukubonwa ngeqiniso yilapho othile ehlangana nawe ngaphandle kokuzama ukukunciphisa, ngaphandle kokuzama ukukhipha okuthile kuwe, ngaphandle kokuzama ukunqoba, futhi njengoba inhliziyo yakho ikhula, ufunda ukunikeza lolu hlobo lokubona njengesipho, hhayi ngokumangalisayo, hhayi ngokuzwakalayo, ngokuba khona nje ngobumnene obuthi, “Awudingi ukufakazela ukubaluleka kwakho ukuze waneliswe ngesithunzi.” Yilapho ukuvuthwa ngokomoya kusobala khona buthule, ngoba ubugovu buthanda ubuholi, buthanda umuzwa wokuba phambili, buthanda ubuwena bokuba yilowo “okutholayo,” kuyilapho inhliziyo ingenasithakazelo ohambweni lokubeka izikhundla, inhliziyo iyaqonda isikhathi, inhliziyo iyaqonda ukuthi ukuvuka kuyavela njengezimbali, ngayinye ivuleka ngesigqi sayo, futhi uma ukhulula isidingo sokuba ngaphezu kwanoma ubani, lapho ukhulula umkhuba wokuguqula ingokomoya libe yisikhundla, uthando lwakho luba luhlanzekile, ububele bakho buthembeke kakhulu, futhi ukuba khona kwakho kuba kuphephile kwabanye, ngoba ukuphepha kwakheka lapho othile ezwa sengathi angaba ngumuntu eduze kwakho ngaphandle kokuncipha. Kulokhu kuhlanzeka kothando, isithunzi siba ngesinye samandla anamandla kakhulu ongawanikeza labo abanezinhliziyo ezisavuleka, ngoba isithunzi sivame ukuthi, “Uyisidalwa esibusayo esiqhubekayo,” futhi sikuvumela ukuthi ubambe othile ngenhlonipho ngaphandle kokugcizelela ukuthi uyashintsha ukuze uhlale unomusa, sikuvumela ukuthi ugcine imfudumalo ngisho nalapho othile enamahloni, sikuvumela ukuthi ugcine inhliziyo yakho ivulekile ngenkathi usahlonipha imingcele yakho, futhi siletha ukuvuthwa okujulile ekusebenzelaneni kwakho, ngoba uyeka ukuzama ukuhudula noma ubani ekuguqukeni, futhi uqala ukuphila njengesimemo sokuguquka. Kukhona futhi ububele obudingekayo endleleni obamba ngayo ukuzwela kwakho njengoba wenza lokhu, ngoba ukubona umphefumulo ngaphansi kobuso kusho ukuthi uzobona okwengeziwe, uzozizwa kakhudlwana, uzozwa izingqimba ezingaphansi kwalokho okukhulunywayo, ngakho-ke ubuhlobo bakho nesihawu kumele buhlale bulinganisele, bugxile ekuzihlonipheni, bugxile ekuqineni kwangaphakathi, bugxile ekukhumbuleni ukuthi uthando lugeleza kangcono ngesitsha esihlala sikhona, futhi yingakho isihawu sokuqala nesihawu sesibili kuyizinto eziqhubekayo ngempela, ngoba ufunda ukufakaza omunye ngaphandle kokuzilahla, ufunda ukuba nomusa ngaphandle kokubanjwa, ufunda ukunikeza imfudumalo ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa yisikhungo sakho, futhi lokhu kudala uhlobo lobuholi obunesihawu obungathembeli ekuqineni, buthembele eqinisweni.

Ukubamba Isikhala, Uthando Olungenamibandela, Nokuba Khona Njengesimemo Esiphilayo

Umbono Osekelwe Essence, Ukuqashelwa Komphefumulo, Nothando Njengamandla Ajulile

Ngakho-ke izinsuku zakho mazibe yizinkundla zokuzijwayeza ezithambile, futhi vumela ukuhlangana kwakho kube amakilasi angcwele, futhi inhliziyo yakho mayibe ithuluzi lakho eliyinhloko lokuqonda, ngoba lapho uziqeqesha kakhulu ukubona isidalwa esingaphansi kokuziphatha, kulapho uzosabela khona ngokwemvelo ngokuhlakanipha kunokuba uzizwe ushukunyiswa yimizwa, futhi kulapho uzothola khona ukuthi uthando alubuthakathaka, uthando alucasuki kalula, uthando aluxhomekile ezimweni eziphelele, uthando lungamandla ajulile aziqaphela yonke indawo, ngisho noma selukhohliwe isikhathi esithile, futhi njengoba uphila lokhu, uzothola ukuthi ubukhona bakho buqala ukuvula ubukhona kwabanye, ngoba nje awusahlobani nobuso babo, uhlobana nobuntu babo, futhi ubuqu bukhumbula ubuqu lapho buhlangatshezwa.

Ukubamba Isikhala Njengokusekelwa Okufakwe Enhliziyweni Ngaphandle Kokulungisa, Ukuxazulula, Noma Ukukholisa

Futhi njengoba uqala ukubona kahle ngale ndlela yokubona, njengoba uqala ukuhlangana nesidalwa esingaphansi komhlaba ngenhlonipho engaphoqelelwe, amandla amasha aphakama ngokwemvelo ngaphakathi kuwe, ngoba ukuqashelwa komphefumulo akuyona nje into oyibonayo, kuyinto oyinikezayo, futhi lokho okunikezayo yindawo, igumbi lokuphumula elinobukhona obuzungeze esinye isidalwa lapho inhliziyo yaso ingazikhumbula khona ngejubane laso, ngolimi lwaso, ngesikhathi saso, futhi yilokhu esikushoyo lapho sikhuluma ngokubamba isikhala, ngoba ukubamba isikhala akuyona inqubo futhi akuyona indima oyenzayo ngengqondo yakho, yikhwalithi yothando olubonisayo lapho uhlala ukhona, lapho uhlala unomusa, lapho uhlala uqotho, nalapho uvumela ukunakekelwa kwakho kuzwakale njengesimemo esimnene esingaceli lutho komunye umuntu ukuze imfudumalo yakho ihlale. Ekusebenzelaneni kwakho nabantu abaningi ingqondo iyashesha ukulungisa, ukuxazulula, ukukholisa, ukuchaza, ngoba ikholelwa ukuthi uthando lubonakaliswa ngesenzo futhi ikholelwa ukuthi ukwesekwa kulinganiswa ngomzamo, kodwa inhliziyo iyazi iqiniso elithule, ngoba inhliziyo iyaqonda ukuthi isipho esiguqula kakhulu sivame ukuba lula kakhulu: ukukhetha ukuba nothile ngokugcwele, ukulalela ngobuqotho, ukuhlangana naye ngesithunzi, nokuvumela umhlaba wakhe wangaphakathi ukuba uvele ngaphandle kokubanjwa, ukulolongwa, noma ukuphathwa. Ngakho uqala ukuzijwayeza ukuma kwangaphakathi okuthi, “Ngilapha, ngivulekile, ngizinzile,” bese uvumela ubukhona bakho ukuthi benze lokho okwenziwa ubukhona, okuwukwenza indawo yokuthi iqiniso livele, ukwenza indawo yokuthi imizwa ithambe, ukwenza indawo yesidalwa ukuze sizizwe futhi ngaphansi komsindo wosuku lwaso, futhi yingakho ukubamba isikhala kuyisimemo esiphilayo kunokuba amandla, ngoba isimemo sihlonipha ubukhosi, futhi ubukhosi yilapho ukuvuka kuba ngokoqobo khona.

Uthando Olungenamibandela Ngaphandle Komehluko, Ubukhosi, kanye Nokwakheka Kokuphepha

Ngaphakathi kwalesi simemo esiphilayo, umnyango wenhliziyo uhlala uvulekile ngendlela ezwakala ivulekile futhi ihloniphekile, ngoba awusazami ukusheshisa noma ubani ukuba angene enhliziyweni, awusazami ukumdonsela phambili ukuze uzizwe ukhululekile, awusazami ukudala ukufana ukuze uzizwe uphephile, futhi esikhundleni salokho uvumela omunye umuntu ukuba ahambe njengoba ukulungela kwakhe kwangaphakathi kuvumela, kuyilapho uhlala uphawu olucacile lomusa oluthi buthule, “Wamukelekile lapha,” nokuthi “Uphephile ukuba lapho ukhona.” Lokhu kungenye yezindlela ezivuthiwe kakhulu zokubonisa uthando olungenamibandela, ngoba lunikeza ukunakekelwa okungadingi sivumelwano, futhi lunikeza ukusondelana okungadingi izinkolelo ezifanayo, ukukhetha okufanayo, noma ulimi olufanayo, futhi lokhu kubalulekile, Bathandekayo, ngoba umhlaba wenu uchithe isikhathi eside udida uthando nokufana, sengathi uthando kumelwe luzuzwe ngokuhambisana nombono othile, sengathi ukuba ngumuntu kumelwe kuthengwe ngokulingisa umbono womunye umuntu, kanti inhliziyo ayisebenzi ngaleyo ndlela. Inhliziyo iyaqaphela ubunjalo, futhi ubunjalo bukhulu kunobuso bokuthanda, bukhulu kunombono wesikhashana, bukhulu kuneziphepho ezidlulayo zemizwa, ngakho-ke ufunda ukuthanda ngaphandle kokungafani kalula okunganciphisi iqiniso lakho, ngoba uthando alukuceli ukuthi ulahle lokho okwaziyo, lukucela ukuthi ubambe lokho okwaziyo ngokuthobeka nangomusa, futhi uvumele omunye abe yisithunzi sesikhathi sakhe. Uma ukhuluma kule ndawo, amazwi akho aba yizihluthulelo ezithambile esikhundleni samathuluzi abukhali, isiqondiso sakho siba umnikelo esikhundleni sokusunduza, umusa wakho uba yibhuloho kunokuba yisivumelwano esingabizi, futhi ungase uqaphele okuthile okumangalisayo buthule, ngoba izidalwa eziningi zithambile ngoba nje azizizwa zicindezelwe ukwenza, azinangcindezi yokufakazela, azinangcindezi yokuzivikela, futhi kulokho kukhululeka inhliziyo ivame ukuvula yodwa, ngendlela isandla esivula ngayo lapho siqaphela ukuthi akudingeki sibambe. Futhi njengoba uqhubeka, uqala ukuzwa ukwakheka okucashile kokuphepha, hhayi njengento oyikhiqiza ngokulawula, kodwa njengento oyiveza ngokuqina, futhi lokhu kuqina akuqinile futhi akusindi, kuyafudumala, kuyahambisana, kungukwethembeka okuthule kwesidalwa esingesaso, futhi kuba uhlobo lokukhanya kweziko ekusebenzelaneni kwakho, ngoba uma uzinzile enhliziyweni yakho, abanye bazizwa bevunyelwe ukuphumula eduze kwakho, bavunyelwe ukuphefumula, bavunyelwe ukuba ngumuntu, bavunyelwe ukuthamba ngaphandle kokubuzwa ngakho. Yingakho ukubamba isikhala kungalokothi kufune ukuthamba, ngoba isidingo sidala ukufinyela, futhi inhliziyo isabela ebumneneni kalula kakhulu kunokuba isabela emandleni, ngakho uba yisidalwa esihola ngomusa futhi sivumele ukuguqulwa kuvele ngokwemvelo, futhi lokhu kushintsha lonke ikhwalithi yobudlelwano bakho, ngoba ukuba khona kwakho kuba yindawo yokuphephela lapho abantu bengahlangana khona.

Amandla Athambile, Imingcele Egxile Enhliziyweni, Nokuzibandakanya Okuhlala Njalo Nozwela

Ngezinye izikhathi uzoba semakamelweni lapho imizwa inamandla khona futhi amazwi eqina, futhi uzozwa umkhuba omdala ngaphakathi kohlobo lwakho olinganisa ukuqina namandla, kodwa nokho ufunda amandla ajulile, amandla okuhlala uvulekile, ukuhlala uhloniphekile, ukuhlala ugxile, nokukhuluma iqiniso ngobumnene obungaguquki, ngoba ubumnene, uma busekelwe ekuzihlonipheni, buphethe igunya elikhulu. Yilapho futhi imingcele yakho iba khona njengesandiso sothando kunokuba udonga lokuzivikela, ngoba ukubamba isikhala kuhlanganisa nokubamba isikhala sakho, ukuhlonipha isiqondiso sakho sangaphakathi, ukwazi ukuthi kufanele uhlanganyele nini nokuthi kufanele ume nini, ukwazi ukuthi kufanele ukhulume nini nokuthi kufanele ulalele nini, ukwazi ukuthi kufanele unikeze nini ukufudumala kwakho eduze nokwazi ukuthi kufanele unikeze nini ukufudumala kwakho usuka kude ngenhlonipho, futhi lokhu kuqonda kugcina uthando lwakho luhlanzekile, ukunakekelwa kwakho kuqotho, kanye nokuba khona kwakho kuhlale isikhathi eside.

Ukufakaza Okungcwele, Ukuthula Njengomuthi, Nothando Lwenziwe Lusebenziseke Ezikhathini Ezivamile

Esinye sezici ezicwengekile kakhulu zokubamba isikhala sifika lapho ufunda ukubona okuhlangenwe nakho komunye umuntu ngaphandle kokuhlangana nakho, ngoba ububele ngezinye izikhathi bungaqondwa kabi njengokuhlangana ngokomzwelo, njengokungathi kufanele uthwale lokho abanye abakuthwalayo ukuze ufakazele ukuthi uyakhathalela, futhi inhliziyo inikeza indlela ehlakaniphile, ngoba inhliziyo iyazi ukuthi ingahlala kanjani iseduze ngaphandle kokukhukhuleka, iyazi ukuthi ihlonipha kanjani imizwa yomunye umuntu ngaphandle kokwenza leyo mizwa ibe ubuwena bakho, futhi iyazi ukuthi inganikeza kanjani imfudumalo ngaphandle kokukhishwa phakathi. Ngakho-ke uzijwayeza uhlobo lobufakazi obungcwele obumnene nobunamandla ngesikhathi esisodwa, lapho uqaphela khona okukhona ngeqiniso elilula, lapho uvumela omunye umuntu ukuba azizwe lokho akuzwayo, lapho ulalela khona ngaphandle kokushesha ukulungisa, nalapho uhlala ugxile othandweni njengesimo esizungezile ingxoxo. Kulobu bufakazi, uba njengesibhakabhaka esibanzi, uvumela isimo sezulu ukuba sidlule ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa isibhakabhaka ngokwaso, futhi lokhu kuyisifaniso esibalulekile senhliziyo yomuntu, ngoba imizwa iyiminyakazo, imicabango iyiminyakazo, ukusabela kuyiminyakazo, futhi imvelo yakho yangempela ukuqaphela okungabamba leyo minyakazo ngomusa. Uma ubonisa lokhu, ukuba khona kwakho kudlulisa umlayezo othule ophulukisa kakhulu: “Uvunyelwe ukuba lapho ukhona,” futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo, “Uvunyelwe ukuphakama,” futhi lezi zimvume ezimbili ndawonye zakha umnyango omnene, ngoba imvume yokuqala isusa ihlazo kanti imvume yesibili ibuyisela amathuba. Izinhliziyo eziningi zihlala zivaliwe ngoba nje zesaba ukwahlulelwa ngendawo ezimi kuyo, futhi lapho isahlulelo siphela, lapho ihlazo likhululeka, lapho isithunzi sibuya, isidalwa siqala ukuzwa amandla aso angaphakathi futhi, futhi ngokuvamile yilokho kuphela okwakudingeka ekuvulekeni kokuqala kwangempela. Kunezikhathi, Bathandekayo, lapho umuthi onamandla kakhulu ukuthula, futhi ukuthula kungabi khona, ukuba khona ngesimo sako esimsulwa, yindawo lapho ukunaka kwakho kuba ukukhanya okumnene, kuyikhefu lapho inhliziyo ingakhuluma khona ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka, ngakho-ke ufunda ukuqaphela lapho amagama ewusizo nalapho amagama egcwalisa isikhala kuphela okuhloswe ngaso ukuphefumula. Kulezi zikhathi, ukubamba isikhala kungase kubonakale njengokuhlala eceleni komuntu onamehlo azolile, umzimba okhululekile, umoya ongasheshi, kanye nokuzimisela ukuhlala, futhi lokhu kuzimisela ulimi umphefumulo oluqonda ngokushesha, ngoba umphefumulo awudingi izinkulumo ukuze uzizwe uhlangatshezwane nazo, kudinga ubuqotho, kudinga imfudumalo, kudinga umusa oqhubekayo ongaguquguquki lapho izinto zizwakala zithambile. Ngakho-ke vumela ukuzola kwakho kube yisipho, vumela ukuthamba kwakho kube umnikelo, vumela ukungahluleli kwakho kube uhlobo lwesibusiso oluhamba egumbini njengokukhanya kwelanga okuthambile, ngoba ngezinye izikhathi ukuba khona kwakho kuyisenzo sonke, inhlansi ethule ekhumbuza omunye umuntu ngamandla akhe okubuyela othandweni. Vumela impilo yakho ibe ukubonakaliswa kwalobu buciko obungcwele ngesikhathi esivamile, ezingxoxweni ezibalulekile nasezingxoxweni ezibonakala zincane, ezikhathini zomndeni, ezikhathini zomphakathi, ezikhathini zangasese, ngoba ukubamba isikhala kumane kuwuthando olwenziwa lube ngokoqobo, uthando lwenziwa luphefumuleke, uthando lwenziwe luphephile, futhi uma uluphila njalo, uba umnyango lapho inhliziyo yesintu izikhumbula khona ukuhlangana okukodwa ngesikhathi.

Imingcele, Ukuqonda, Nothando Olungenamibandela Oluholwa Ubuqotho

Imingcele Njengokuzinikela, Ubuqotho, kanye Nombono Wothando Weqiniso

Futhi, njengoba ukubamba isikhala kuba yinto yemvelo kuwe, njengoba inhliziyo ifunda ukuhlala ivulekile ngaphandle kokucindezeleka, uqala ukuthola ungqimba oluhle kakhulu lobuciko oluhlala ngaphakathi kothando olungenamibandela uqobo, ngoba uthando, uma luphilwa njengokuhlakanipha, luthwala ukuma, futhi leso simo yilokho okubiza ngokuthi umngcele, futhi umngcele ngesimo sawo esimsulwa umane nje uwuhlaka lothando lweqiniso, umugqa omnene lapho ubuqotho bakho buhlangana khona nomhlaba, umngcele ongcwele othi, “Nakhu lokho inhliziyo yami engakunikeza ngempela,” nokuthi “Nakhu lokho inhliziyo yami ekhetha ukukwenqaba,” futhi uma uqonda lokhu, imingcele ayizizwa njengokuhlukana futhi iqala ukuzizwa njengokuzinikela, ngoba ukuzinikela kuyisinqumo sokuhlala uhambisana nalokho okungokoqobo ngaphakathi kuwe, ngisho noma ububele bakho buhlala bufudumele, ngisho noma amehlo akho ehlala enomusa, ngisho nalapho ubukhona bakho buhlala buhloniphekile. Ekuhlangenwe nakho kwakho njengomuntu, abaningi bafunda ukuthi uthando ludinga ukutholakala njalo, ukuvumelana njalo, ukuthamba njalo kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isimo sinjani, futhi lokhu kwadala ukudideka lapho umusa wabanjwa khona ukuzidela, kodwa isikhungo senhliziyo asikaze senzelwe ukuba ngumnyango abanye abangawudlula ngokuthanda kwabo, senzelwe ukuba yindawo yokuphepha yeqiniso lapho uthando luphuma khona ngokuhlanzekile, ngakho-ke sikumema ohlotsheni oluvuthiwe lwesihawu, isimo esingamomotheka futhi sithi “cha,” isimo esingabusisa futhi sibuyele emuva, isimo esingabamba omunye ngesithunzi ngenkathi senqaba noma yisiphi isimemo sokungahloniphi, sokukhohlisa, sokulawula, semidlalo yemizwa, emaphethini amadala azama ukuthenga ukusondelana ngengcindezi. Lapho “cha” yakho ikhulunywa ngothando, iba umuthi, ngoba ifundisa umhlaba ukuthi ungahlangana kanjani nawe, futhi ifundisa umhlaba wakho wangaphakathi ukuthi iqiniso lakho libalulekile, futhi lesi ngesinye sezenzo ezinkulu zokuzithanda ongazenza, ngoba siqinisekisa ukuthi lokho okunikezayo kungokoqobo, kuzinzile, futhi kucacile.

Ukuhlonipha Isidalwa Ngesikhathi Ulahla Iphethini Ngozwela Oluhlanzekile

Futhi njengoba ukhula kulokhu kucaca, ufunda ukuhlukanisa isidalwa nokuziphatha ngobumnene obukhulula kakhulu, ngoba lapho ingqondo ibona ukuziphatha ivame ukwenza ukuziphatha kube ubuwena, bese inhliziyo iqina, bese ububele buba nemibandela, kodwa nokho ukubona komphefumulo wakho kuyazi iqiniso elijulile, ngoba ungazizwa isidalwa esingaphansi kwesikhathi, ungazwa ingqikithi ngaphansi kwephethini, ungabona ukuthi umphefumulo uhlala umkhulu kunendlela obonakala ngayo njengamanje, futhi kusukela kulokho kuqaphela uba nekhono lokuhlonipha isidalwa ngenkathi wenqaba iphethini. Lobu ubuciko obungcwele, Bathandekayo, ngoba kukuvumela ukuthi uhlale unothando ngaphandle kokuyekelela, kukuvumela ukuthi uhlale uvulekile ngaphandle kokuba nezimbobo, kukuvumela ukuthi ugcine ukufudumala kwakho ngenkathi usaphethe indinganiso yenhlonipho, futhi kugcina ububele bakho buhlanzekile, ngoba ububele obuhlanzekile abunazo iziqongo, akukho sijeziso esifihliwe, akukho sifiso sokwenza umuntu abe mncane ukuze uzizwe uphephile, kumane kuphethe iqiniso ngomusa. Empeleni, lokhu kungabonakala njengokulalela imizwa yomuntu ngokugcwele ngenkathi ukhetha ukuqeda ingxoxo engaba yindelelo, kungabonakala njengokukhathalela ngokujulile uhambo lomuntu ngenkathi ukhetha ukuyeka indlela ephindaphindwayo ekwehlisayo, kungabonakala njengokunikeza umusa ngenkathi wenqaba izimfuno eziphindaphindwayo, futhi njengoba wenza lokhu, uzozizwa uqina ngaphakathi kwenhliziyo yakho, ngoba inhliziyo ithanda ukwethembeka, inhliziyo iyaphumula lapho yazi ukuthi uzovikela ubuqotho bayo.

Ukuqonda Okuphakeme Njengothando Olunesiqondiso, Ukucaca Ngaphandle Konya

Ukuqonda kuvame ukungaqondwa kahle ezweni lakini njengokusola, njengokuvala, njengokwahlulela okuqinile, kodwa ukuqonda ngesimo sakho esiphakeme kumane kuwuthando olunesiqondiso, uthando oluhlala luphapheme, uthando oluhlala lukhona, uthando oluhlala luxhumene nesiqondiso sangaphakathi, futhi ngenxa yalokhu, ukuqonda akudingi ukhahlo ukuze kusebenze, kuthwala ukucaca ngaphandle konya, kuthwala iqiniso ngaphandle kokuhlazeka, kuthwala ukuqondisa ngaphandle kokuziqhenya ngokomoya, futhi kukhuluma ngendlela ehlonipha ubuntu bawo wonke umuntu ohilelekile.

Ukukhuluma Iqiniso Okugxile Enhliziyweni, Ukucaca Okumnene, Nokufudumala Okungaguquki

Ngakho-ke uma ubizelwa ukukhuluma iqiniso, vumela iqiniso lakho lifike enhliziyweni kuqala, livumele libunjwe ngomusa, vumela likhulunywe ngezwi eligcina isithunzi singashintshi, ngoba iqiniso elinikezwa ngesisa linendlela yokufika lapho iqiniso elinikezwa ngokubukhali livame ukugxuma khona. Kukhona indlela yokucaca ngokungenakuphikwa ngenkathi uhlala ufudumele, futhi lokhu kufudumala akusibo ubuthakathaka, kuwukucwengwa, kuwuphawu lwesidalwa esazi amandla aso ngakho-ke asinasidingo sokubusa. Uma ukhuluma ngale ndlela, uba yisimemo sokwethembeka kwabanye, ngoba ukucaca kwakho kuzwakala kuphephile, futhi ukuphepha kukhuthaza ubuqotho, futhi ubuqotho buvula iminyango amandla angasoze avuleka.

Ibanga Eliqondayo, Ukuhlanzwa Kobuhlobo, Nokuphela Kothando Olusekelwe KuMsindisi

Kukhona nezikhathi lapho ukukhetha okuthanda kakhulu ibanga, futhi ibanga, uma likhethwa ngokuqonda, liba yisenzo sokuhlonipha wonke umuntu ohilelekile, ngoba lidala isikhala sokuba amaphethini abonakale ngokucacile, lidala isikhala semizwa yokuxazulula, lidala isikhala sesidalwa sokuhlangana naso ngaphandle kokungqubuzana okuqhubekayo kokuxhumana, futhi lidala isikhala sokuba uhlale uhambisana neqiniso lakho. Ibanga linganikezwa ngezibusiso, ngobumnene, ngokuzola, ngesifiso sangaphakathi senhlalakahle yomunye umuntu, futhi ngale ndlela ibanga liba uhlobo lozwela olugcina inhliziyo yakho ingaphazamisekile, ngoba inhliziyo yakho iyachuma lapho ihlonishwa, futhi impilo yakho iyachuma lapho iqhutshwa ukuhlakanipha. Iningi lenu lizame ukuhlala eduze ezimweni lapho ukusondelana kudinga ukuthi unciphe, futhi umphefumulo awukaze ukucele ukuthi unciphe ukuze uthande, umphefumulo ucela ukuthi uthande ngendlela ekugcina uphelele, ngakho-ke ufunda ukubuyela emuva ngaphandle kokucasuka, ukuma ngaphandle kwedrama, ukudala isikhala ngaphandle kokwenza noma ubani abe yiphutha, ngoba nje uqaphela ukuthi uthando, ngesimo salo esimsulwa, luhlanganisa ukuhlonipha isikhathi, ukuhlonipha ukulungela, ukuhlonipha iqiniso lalokho okwenzekayo njengamanje. Uma uprakthiza lokhu, ubudlelwano bakho buqala ukuhlanza, ngoba okusalayo yilokho okungakuhlangana nawe ngeqiniso, futhi okuwayo kwakuwukucela uhlobo lwakho olukhule kakhulu enhliziyweni yakho. Yilapho futhi iphethini endala yomsindisi iphela khona ngokwemvelo, ngoba iphethini yomsindisi yakhelwe enkolelweni yokuthi uthando kumele lusindise ukuze lube ngokoqobo, futhi ukusindisa kuvame ukuba nesivumelwano esifihliwe, ithemba elifihliwe lokuthi uma unikela ngokwanele uzophepha, uma ulungisa okwanele uzokwaziswa, uma udela okwanele uzothandwa, kodwa uthando olungenamibandela lukhulu kakhulu kunalokhu, ngoba uthando olungenamibandela lunikeza ukwesekwa ngaphandle kokuthatha ubunikazi bezinketho zomunye, futhi uthando olungenamibandela lusebenza ngaphandle kokususa wena okhonzayo. Esihawini esivuthiwe, uba khona njengokhona, njengendlebe elalelayo, njengesibuko esinomusa, njengomngane ozinzile, futhi uvumela ngamunye abe ubukhosi bakhe, ukufunda kwakhe, umthwalo wakhe wendlela yakhe, futhi lokhu kugcina inkonzo yakho ihlanzekile, ngoba ivela ekuchichimeni kunokuwohloka, ivela ekupheleleni kunokucindezeleka. Uma uphelele, umusa wakho uletha ukukhanya, uletha ukulula, uletha ubuqotho, futhi abanye bangazizwa sengathi unikeza uthando ngokukhululeka kunokuba unikeze uthando njengenkokhelo, futhi lokhu kushintsha konke, ngoba uthando olunikezwa ngokukhululeka lwamukelwa ngendlela ehlukile, luthenjwa ngendlela ehlukile, luvunyelwe ukusebenza ngokujulile.

Ukuphathwa Kwamandla Angcwele, Imingcele, Nozwelo Oluholwa Ubuqotho

Ukuphatha Amandla Njengemithombo Engcwele Ngokusebenzisa Ukunemba, Ukufinyelela, Nokunikela Okuhlanzekile

Njengoba uqhubeka, uzoqaphela ukuthi amandla akho aba ngenye yezinsiza zakho ezingcwele kakhulu, futhi sikhuluma ngamandla njengokunaka kwakho, isikhathi sakho, ukutholakala kwakho ngokomzwelo, ikhono lakho lokuzibandakanya, ikhono lakho lokuhlala ukhona, futhi uma uqala ukuphatha amandla akho njengangcwele, uqala ukukhetha ngokunemba ukuthi yini oyenzayo, ukuthi uhlanganyela nini, nokuthi uhlanganyela kanjani, futhi lokhu kunemba kwenza uthando lwakho luphumelele kakhudlwana, ngoba uthando olunikezwa ngokuqonda lubeka lapho lungamukelwa khona. Kukhona umehluko phakathi kokuba nomusa kuwo wonke umuntu nokunikeza wonke umuntu ukufinyelela ezweni lakho langaphakathi, futhi lo mehluko uba yinto ebalulekile endleleni yakho, ngoba umusa uyindlela evamile yenhliziyo, kuyilapho ukufinyelela kuyindlela yokusondelana okumele izuzwe ngenhlonipho. Ngakho ufunda ukufudumala ngaphandle kokudalulwa ngokweqile, ufunda ukuba nesihawu ngaphandle kokutholakala ngokweqile, ufunda ukulalela ngaphandle kokuba nomthwalo wemfanelo ngomphumela, futhi ufunda ukuhamba ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ubumnene bakho. Yilokhu okushiwo ukugcina umnikelo wakho uhlanzekile, ngoba umnikelo ohlanzekile awuthwali ukugoba, akukho okulindelwe okufihliwe, akukho sidingo sokuba omunye aphendule ngendlela ethile, umane unikeza lokho angakunikeza futhi uhlala enokuthula ngalokho okukhona.

Yebo Ongcwele Futhi Cha Omnene Njengobuqotho Bomphefumulo, Isithunzi, Nobuhlobo Obuphakeme

Kulokhu, “yebo” wakho uba ngcwele, kanti “cha” wakho uba mnene, futhi kokubili kuba ukubonakaliswa kobuqotho, ngoba ubuqotho yisivumelwano osigcina nomphefumulo wakho, futhi uma ugcina lesi sivumelwano, uhamba ngokuzethemba okuthule okungadingi ukuzibonakalisa, kumane kukhona. Yebo ongcwele uyebo ophakama enhliziyweni futhi uzizwe uvulekile emzimbeni wakho, uzizwa uthembekile emoyeni wakho, uzizwa uvumelana nokwazi kwakho kwangaphakathi, kanti cha omnene uyebo ovikela lokho kuhambisana ngaphandle kobutha, ngaphandle kokusebenza, ngaphandle kokusola, yingakho sithi kokubili kuwuthando uma kusekelwe eqinisweni. Abaningi basebenzise yebo njengendlela yokugwema ingxabano kanye nocha njengendlela yokudala ibanga phakathi kokubanda, futhi sikufundisa indlela ephakeme, lapho yebo kuyisibusiso kanye nocha kuyisibusiso, lapho kokubili kukhulunywa khona ngenhlonipho, futhi lapho kokubili kushiya omunye umuntu enesithunzi, ngoba isithunzi singenye yezilimi eziphakeme kakhulu uthando olungazikhuluma.

Ukuphatha Ukuthula Kwangaphakathi, Ukubuya Okubalulekile Enhliziyweni, Nothando Olunikezwa Ngokuphepha Okusekelwe Enhliziyweni

Njengoba lokhu kuba yindlela yakho yemvelo, uqala ukuqonda ukuthi ukuthula kwangaphakathi kuwumthwalo wemfanelo owuphethe, hhayi njengomthwalo, kodwa njengokuphatha, ngoba isimo sakho sangaphakathi sibumba izinqumo zakho, amazwi akho, ithoni yakho, ubudlelwano bakho, ikhono lakho lokukhonza, kanye nomoya owulethayo ekamelweni ngalinye. Uma uvikela ukuthula kwakho kwangaphakathi, uvikela ikhwalithi yothando olunikezayo, ngoba uthando oluvezwa ngokuthula kwangaphakathi luzwakala lubanzi, luqinile, futhi luphephile, kanti uthando oluvezwa ngokucindezeleka kwangaphakathi luvame ukuzizwa lushesha, lubukhali, noma lunemibandela ngisho noma luhloselwe kahle. Ngakho-ke uphatha ukuthula kwakho kwangaphakathi njengesibani esingcwele, ukukunakekela ngemikhuba elula, ngokuphumula lapho kudingeka, ngemingcele eqotho, ngesivinini esihlakaniphile, ngokubuyela enkabeni yenhliziyo kaninginingi, futhi uzothola ukuthi lobu kuphatha buba ngesinye sezipho ezinkulu kakhulu ozinikeza umhlaba, ngoba inhliziyo enokuthula iba yindawo yokukhanya yemvume, imvume yokuba abanye bathambe, imvume yokuba abanye behlise ijubane, imvume yokuba abanye bazikhumbule.

Ububele Obuvuthiwe Ukuzwana, Inkonzo Ehlanzekile, Nothando Oluhlala Luphelele

Ngakho-ke, ububele obunemingcele neqiniso buba ukuvumelana okuphilayo ngaphakathi kuwe, lapho ubumnene namandla kuhamba khona ndawonye, ​​lapho umusa nokucaca kuhlala khona emoyeni ofanayo, lapho uthando luhlala luvulekile futhi ubuqotho bakho buhlala buqinile, futhi kulokhu kuvumelana uba ngothembekile kakhulu, othembekile emphefumulweni wakho, othembekile ebuhlotsheni bakho, othembekile enkonzweni yakho, ngoba lokho okunikezayo kuvela eqinisweni kunokucindezela, ekuzinikeleni kunesibopho, othandweni kunokwesaba. Yile ndlela ububele obuvuthiwe obushintsha ngayo impilo yakho, ngoba kukuvumela ukuthi uhlale unothando ngenkathi uhlala uphelele, kukuvumela ukuthi uhlale uphana ngenkathi uhlala ucacile, kukuvumela ukuthi ubambe isikhala ngenkathi uzihlonipha, futhi njengoba ubonisa lokhu, uzobona ukuthi indlela yakho iba lula, ihlanzekile, futhi ikhanya kakhulu, ngoba inhliziyo ithanda ukucaca, futhi ukucaca kuvumela uthando ukuthi luhambe ngokukhululeka kukho konke okuthintayo.

Ukuxhumana Okuholwa Yisimemo, Isiqondiso Esisekelwe Ezimvumeni, Nokulingana Njengothando

Ngaphakathi kwalolu zwelo oluvuthiwe, lapho imingcele ithwala iqiniso futhi uthando luthatha ukuma, izwi lakho liqala ukushintsha ngendlela ezwakala ilula kakhulu, ngoba ukuxhumana kuba kancane mayelana nokuletha ulwazi kodwa kube ngokunikeza umoya, bese uqala ukuzwa ukuthi wonke amagama owakhethayo afana nesandla osidlulisela esikhaleni esiphakathi kwakho nesinye isidalwa, kungaba ukuthambisa leso sikhala sibe yindawo ephephile, noma ukusiqinisa ukuze sivikeleke, ngakho-ke inhliziyo ifunda ulimi olusha ngokwemvelo, ulimi olumemayo kunokuba lucindezele, olwamukelayo kunezidingo, olusikisela kunokuba luphikelele, yingakho sikukhuthaza ukuthi ukhulume njengesimemo, ngoba isimemo sidumisa ubukhosi bomunye umphefumulo ngenkathi sigcina ukufudumala kwakho kukhona ngokugcwele. Vumela imisho yakho ibe nokuvula okuthambile, indlela ukukhanya kwelanga okungena ngayo ekamelweni ngaphandle kokudinga imvume efenisha, futhi uzozizwa ukuthi kuhluke kangakanani ukuthi, “Uma lokhu kukusekela, thatha okuzwakala kuyiqiniso,” noma “Uma uzizwa ubiziwe, ungazama lokhu,” noma “Uma kuzwakala, nakhu engikuzwayo,” ngoba lawa mathoni alula abonisa omunye ukuthi awuzami ukulawula indlela yawo, umane unikeza isibani abangase bakhethe ukusibamba. Ekusebenzelaneni kwabantu, kuvela ukucindezeleka okukhulu ngenxa yokucindezeleka okungabonakali ngaphansi kwamazwi, umzamo ocashile wokwenza othile ashintshe ukuze uzizwe uzinzile, futhi uma ususa lokho kucindezela ngokukhuluma ngokumema, inhliziyo yomunye umuntu ivame ukukhululeka, ngoba izwa ukuthi isithunzi sakhe asishintshi. Umnyango uvuleka kalula uma ungacindezelwa, futhi isimemo sakho siba ukungqongqoza okungcwele okuthi, “Ngilapha nawe,” kuyilapho uvumela omunye ukuthi anqume ukuthi ufuna ukusondela kangakanani. Ukulungiswa okujulile kufika lapho uqala ukucela imvume ngaphambi kokunikeza isiqondiso, ngoba imvume iwuhlobo lwenhlonipho umphefumulo oqaphela ngokushesha, futhi imvume yenza isikhala sokulalela kweqiniso kwenzeke kuzo zombili izinhlangothi. Kukhona umehluko omkhulu phakathi kokukhuluma nothile nokukhuluma nothile, futhi imvume iyibhuloho phakathi kwalezo zimo ezimbili, ngoba iguqula ingxoxo ibe yinhlanganyelo kunokulungisa, futhi ikuvumela ukuthi ube ngumngane kunokuba ngumqondisi. Ngakho-ke ungase uzizwe umuzwa omuhle uphakama ngaphakathi kuwe, umuzwa wokuma kancane ubuze, “Ungathanda ukuzindla,” noma “Ungazizwa usekela uma ngabelane ngalokho engikuzwayo,” noma “Uvulelekile emcabangweni,” futhi le mibuzo ayincane, Bathandekayo, ijulile, ngoba ivikela omunye umuntu ekuzizweni ehlaselwa, futhi ikuvikela ekubekeni amandla akho endaweni engakakulungeli ukwamukelwa. Izidalwa eziningi ziphethe okuhlangenwe nakho okudala lapho iseluleko sasinikezwa khona njengesikhali, lapho isiqondiso sanikezwa khona ngezwi eliphansi lokuphakama, lapho “usizo” lwalusetshenziswa ukubenza bazizwe bebancane, futhi imvume ichitha lowo mfanekiso omdala, ngoba imvume iveza ukulingana, futhi ukulingana kungenye yezinhlobo zothando ezimsulwa kakhulu. Uma ucela imvume, udala nesikhathi lapho ungazizwa khona isiqondiso sakho sangaphakathi ngokucacile, ngoba ikhefu ngokwalo liba ukubuyela enhliziyweni, futhi uyakwazi ukuzwa ukuthi isifiso sakho sokukhuluma sivela othandweni, ekunakekeleni kwangempela, ekucaciseni okuthule, futhi lokhu kugcina iminikelo yakho ihlanzekile futhi ubudlelwano bakho bulula, ngoba uthando lwakho luba lukhulu kunokuba luphazamise.

Ukuxhumana Okugxile Enhliziyweni, Umusa Wansuku Zonke, Nokunciphisa Ukwanda Ngethoni

Ukulalela Njengokuba Khona, Ukuzindla Okuqondiswa Yinhliziyo, Nokufakaza Ngaphandle Kokubamba

Kusukela lapha, umusa olula womuntu uba ulimi olungokomoya olunamandla kakhulu ongalunikeza, ngoba umusa yindlela umphefumulo obonakala ngayo ngesikhathi esivamile, futhi awudingi amagama ashukumisayo noma imiqondo eyinkimbinkimbi ukuze ube ngokoqobo. Imfudumalo emehlweni akho, ubuqotho ezwini lakho, ukubekezela ekulaleleni kwakho, ubumnene ezimpendulweni zakho, lokhu kuyizindlela zokuphila, futhi zifinyelela ezindaweni ngaphakathi kwabantu lapho izincazelo zingenakufinyelelwa khona, ngoba inhliziyo izwa umusa njengokuphepha. Vumela ukulalela kube yisipho sakho sokuqala, uhlobo lokulalela lapho ukunaka kwakho kulele khona ngokuphelele ebuntwini obuphambi kwakho, lapho ungakalungiseleli khona impendulo yakho, lapho ungaphindi uprakthize khona ngasese impikiswano yakho, lapho ukuba khona kwakho kuthi, “Ubalulekile ngokwanele ukuba ngibe lapha,” futhi uzozwa ukuthi lokhu kushintsha kanjani yonke insimu yengxoxo. Izidalwa eziningi zithambile ngoba nje zizizwa zihlangatshezwa ngaphandle kokusebenza, futhi ufunda ukuthi ukuhlangatshezwa ngezinye izikhathi kuyimithi uqobo. Umkhuba omuhle ngaphakathi kokuxhumana okugxile enhliziyweni ukuzindla, isenzo esilula sokuphinda lokho okuzwile ngamazwi akho, ngoba ukuzindla kuqinisekisa komunye ukuthi sekwamukelwe, futhi kuvame ukubasiza ukuba bazizwe ngokucacile. Ungase uthi, “Engikuzwayo ukuthi uzizwa ukhungathekile futhi ufuna impumuzo,” noma “Kuzwakala sengathi lesi simo sikucele okuningi futhi ufuna ukuqina,” futhi njengoba ucabanga, omunye umuntu uvame ukuphefumula, ngoba umzamo wokwesaba wokubonisa okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe uqala ukuphela, futhi kulokho kuncipha inhliziyo inendawo eyengeziwe yokuvela. Yile ndlela ukufakaza okuba ngayo umnyango, ngoba ukufakaza uthando olulalela ngaphandle kokubamba, uthando oluhlala lukhona ngaphandle kokudinga ukubusa isikhala.

Ukunciphisa Ukwanda Ngeqiniso Elimnene, Ijubane Elizolile, Nokuthula Ukuze Kuhlanganiswe

Njengoba ukuxhumana kwakho kuqondiswa inhliziyo, isifiso sokuwina siyaphela ngokwemvelo, ngoba inhliziyo ayinasithakazelo ekunqobeni, inesithakazelo ekuxhumaneni, esihloniphweni, eqinisweni elingamukelwa, ngakho-ke amazwi akho aqala ukwehla kunokuba aqine. Uqala ukuqaphela ukuthi imisindo ethile ibiza kanjani ukuvuleleka, nokuthi imisindo ethile ibiza kanjani ukuzivikela, futhi lokhu kuqaphela kuba ngelinye lamakhono akho amakhulu, ngoba kukuvumela ukuthi ukhulume iqiniso ngendlela engafika. Iqiniso elikhulunywe ngesisa liba yibhuloho, kuyilapho iqiniso elikhulunywe ngamandla lingaba udonga, ngakho-ke ufunda ukukhetha ulimi olugcina ibhuloho liqinile, ulimi oluhlonipha ubuntu bomunye umuntu ngenkathi usahlonipha ukucaca kwakho. Ungase uzithole ukhuluma kancane, uvumela isikhala phakathi kwemisho, uvumela omunye ukuba abe yisikhathi sokuphefumula, uvumela ukuthula kube yingxenye yobuhle bengxoxo, ngoba ukuthula yilapho kwenzeka khona ukuhlanganiswa, ukuthula yilapho inhliziyo ibamba khona ingqondo. Lapho imizwa iphakama, ukwehla kwakho kuba yimvamisa efakiwe, hhayi isu nje, ngoba ukuzola kwakho kuveza ukuthi, “Siphephile lapha,” futhi ukuphepha kuvumela izimfanelo eziphakeme kini nobabili ukuthi zibuye. Ngale ndlela, ingxoxo ayibi yinto yokuncintisana kodwa iba yindlela yokwabelana, ukubuyela kulokho okuyiqiniso, ukubuyela kulokho okunomusa, ukubuyela kulokho okubaluleke ngempela ngaphansi kobuso bemibono. Ngisho noma umbono wakho uhlukile, ngisho nalapho imingcele yakho icacile, ithoni yakho ingahlala inenhlonipho, amazwi akho angahlala ehlanzekile, futhi ukuba khona kwakho kungahlala kufudumele, futhi lokho kufudumala kuba uhlobo lobuholi, ngoba kuyisibonelo sendlela yokukhuluma egcina inhliziyo itholakala.

Izikhathi Ezivamile Njengokudluliselwa Okungokomoya, Umusa Ongokoqobo, Nothando Olungenamibandela Olusebenzayo

Ubuhle obukhulu bokuxhumana okugxile enhliziyweni ukuthi akuphili ezikhathini "ezibalulekile" kuphela, kuphila ezikhathini ezivamile, futhi ngokuvamile yizikhathi ezivamile ezithwala amandla aguqula kakhulu, ngoba ziqoqana njengamaconsi amanzi athambile akha itshe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Umusa omncane, osebenzayo empilweni yansuku zonke uba ubufakazi bothando olungenamibandela, ngoba uvela njengombhalo owuthumelayo othi, "Ngikucabanga," njengokuma kancane okuthathayo ukuze uvumele othile aqedele umusho wakhe, njengesineke osinikezayo lapho othile ephazamisekile, njengokufudumala okuletha ekamelweni ngaphandle kokudinga ukukumemezela, njengokuzimisela ukusiza ngezindlela ezilula ezizwakala njengobuntu futhi zingokoqobo. Ungase unikeze inkomishi yetiye, ungase ubambe umnyango, ungase unikeze ukuncoma okuqotho, ungase ukhumbule imininingwane othile ayibelane bese ubuza ngayo kamuva, ungase unike othile isithunzi sokuzwakala ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka, futhi lezi zenzo zingase zibonakale zincane engqondweni, kodwa zikhuluma ngqo nenhliziyo, ngoba zithi, "Uyabonwa," nokuthi "Ubalulekile," futhi inhliziyo isabela kule miyalezo ngokuthamba.

Inkulumo Enomusa Lapho Ungekho, Umusa Ngaphezu Kokugxekwa, Nokulula Kwamazwi Ahloniphekile

Umusa futhi uyindlela okhuluma ngayo ngabanye lapho bengekho, indlela ophatha ngayo abantu ngamazwi akho, indlela ochaza ngayo labo abakuphonsela inselelo, indlela okhetha ngayo ukugcina isithunzi ngisho nalapho ucubungula into ejulile, futhi njengoba ulungisa lokhu, uzothola ukuthi impilo yakho iba lula, ngoba uphila emsinga womusa kunokuba umsinga wokugxeka.

Ithoni Njengokufundisa, Ukuba Khona Okuphephile, Ukuthobeka, Nezinhliziyo Ezivulekayo Ngesikhathi Esifanele

Ithoni, Bathandekayo, ithwala imfundiso ngamandla amakhulu kunokuqukethwe, ngoba okuqukethwe kungaxoxwa ngakho, kuyilapho ithoni izwakala ngokushesha, futhi yingakho izwi lakho elizolile, ijubane lakho elikhululekile, amehlo akho amnene, ubukhona bakho obungasheshile buba yingxenye yenkonzo yakho ngaphandle kokudinga umzamo owengeziwe. Umzimba wakho ungaba umlayezo, ukuphefumula kwakho kungaba umlayezo, ubumnene bakho bungaba umlayezo, futhi le miyalezo yamukelwa yibo abajulile kwabanye isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba ingqondo yabo ivumelane nanoma yimaphi amazwi owashoyo. Ijubane elizolile linikeza imvume kwabanye yokunciphisa ijubane, amehlo amnene anikeza imvume kwabanye yokunciphisa ijubane, kanti ubukhona obuzinzile bunikeza imvume kwabanye yokubuyela kubo, ngakho-ke uba ubukhona obuphephile ngokuba yilokho oyikho ngeqiniso. Okunye ukuvuka kwenzeka ngamandla, yebo, futhi okuningi kwenzeka ngokuphepha, ngokuqina, ngokufudumala okungadingi ushintsho olusheshayo, futhi uma uba ubukhona obuphephile, uba umnyango othule lapho izinhliziyo zingavuleka khona ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa ngesikhathi sazo. Yingakho ukuthobeka kuba yingxenye yokuxhumana kwakho, ngoba ukuthobeka kudala isikhala, futhi isikhala simema umphefumulo phambili, futhi njengoba uphethe lokhu kuthobeka, uba yisidalwa esingakhuluma ngokucacile ngenkathi usashiya isikhala sokutholwa komunye umuntu. Ukuxhumana kube sekuyisenzo esingcwele sobungane, lapho uthando lwakho luhlala lukhona, iqiniso lakho lihlala lihlanzekile, imingcele yakho ihlala inomusa, futhi amazwi akho aba isimemo esiphakathi kwenhliziyo kunokuba kube yisidingo sokuvumelana, futhi kuleso simo, iminyango eminingi ivuleka ngobumnene, ngokwemvelo, nangesikhathi esifanele. Ngakho-ke sikugoqa ngamagagasi okukhanya okupinki nokuluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka kwePleiadian, okududuza umoya wakho futhi kuvutha inkanyezi yakho yangaphakathi, futhi sikuhlonipha njengabalingani abangokomoya njengoba uqhubeka nokuqondisa isintu ekhaya.

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